tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8123940212435127518.post4021183753235857194..comments2024-01-17T08:18:59.929-08:00Comments on Edward searches for love.: Polyamourous - A beautiful love story to share with you.Ebarron99http://www.blogger.com/profile/05908828200344930589noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8123940212435127518.post-61253197716341056442016-12-01T23:22:21.024-08:002016-12-01T23:22:21.024-08:00It's important to note that there are down sid...It's important to note that there are down sides. One of the most common is that a power differential can form between married or committed partners and the one who is the metamour. This privilege gets expressed in many unconscious ways, so it's important to consider the dynamic from all sides, because it can lead to emotional damage to the metamour. The other side of that coin is the metamour who doesn't take their poly relationship seriously because it isn't shaped like a ladder - dating to love to commitment to marriage. They may talk about wanting a "real" relationship after dating for months or even years. They may hold back in the relationship emotionally, because "it isn't going anywhere." <br /><br />There is a difference between someone who is polyamorous and someone who is monogamous but single but engages in a polyamorous relationship as long as they don't have anything else going on. This can also do emotional damage to each of the married ones when someone they have grown to consider as family has no problem disappearing when "the real thing" shows up. And then there are people who do live a polyamorous life until they meet someone who insists on monogamy, and they readily throw over any serious relationships under way to pursue a relationship with the monogamous person. This can be heartbreaking.<br /><br />It's important to know there is a difference between people who are in earnest about polyamory but don't do it perfectly, and people who deliberately take advantage of a polyamorous person's availability and emotional support as a diversion or a comfort without considering what the reciprocity really is as the married polyamour understand it. This isn't the case all the time, but it happens often enough that people contemplating polyamory should remain aware that not everyone takes the situation as seriously. <br /><br />It's also true that, as much as LGBTQ people, sometimes more, polyamours face a lot of discrimination outside of their circles, and don't have the privileges accorded to monogamours. It's difficult to be completely out, to everyone, and it's also difficult to have to conceal important aspects of your life if you prefer others not to know. Married polyamours are privileged because they are are able to "pass" as monogamous, so they need to consider carefully the position this may put other partners in by having a love they don't get to publicly declare and the painful sense that they are a shameful secret, which can destroy any relationship.<br /><br />Polyamory does dispense with many of the pitfalls of monogamy, but it also presents new ones. It's a great way to be and it can be very fulfilling and rewarding, but by no means is it totally free of difficulty. The learning curve can get pretty tricky. Paula Billupshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14263637727687834575noreply@blogger.com