Nat King Cole sang a song that says "The greatest thing in all the world is to love and be loved in return". What happens if you are not loved in return? It can be devastating and destructive. Some people end up destroying themselves or others over being rejected. Love is a very potent energy. It can make you do really stupid things.
How does one find the courage to love again? Based on my own personal experience, you must learn to love unconditionally. Sometimes people need something different in their lives and if you really love them, you will understand and accept what is best for the person that you love, no matter how painful it may be to you. Another term for this is selfless love.
I am still very much in love with my first boyfriend. We came to understand that there is no way we could be together and parting was very painful. I carry him fondly in my heart with the understanding that we each need different things in our life. Accepting this does not invalidate our love for each other but it does free us up to love again.
Unconditional love is not an antidote to the pain you feel when you must let someone go out of your life. But it is the key to forgiveness and forgiveness is the key to loving again. When you learn to love unconditionally, you begin to understand that your love is not based on being loved in return. The greatest thing in all the world is to love. That is where the song should end.
It takes courage to love but you cannot find courage without love. Here is one of my favorite quotes. Perhaps fodder for another post? Will see.
“Love is the most difficult and dangerous form of courage. Courage is the most desperate, admirable and noble kind of love.” ― Delmore Schwartz, Last and Lost Poems
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